Made for Two Written: March 18, 2003 Melloniel's challenge: "Camping. One hates it, one likes it. They must end up in the same sleeping bag." One of the first fics I ever posted. :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Billy was never going to get any sleep at this rate. He lay in his sleeping bag, hands folded on his chest, trying to shut out the chatter of the four boys around him. But it was no good. Though his eyes were closed, he was blaringly awake as he listened to them fidget and whisper and titter like teenage girls at a slumber party while the cool clear of the forest night leaned in over the dimming coals of the campfire. How they were going to get up at dawn for fishing, he didn't know, as they'd already spent half the night sword-fighting with sticks and wrestling and putting toads in each other's sleeping bags. Billy felt like the leader of an unruly Boy Scout troop, and he fervently wished his young charges would shut the hell up and go to sleep. But try as he might to ignore the noise, he lay there with closed eyes and replied to each comment in a weary voice. "Did you make sure the campfire's out?" "Yes, Sean. And if it's not, I'll die first so you're OK. Go to sleep." Bzzzz—smack. "God, these bloody insects are eating me alive." "Did you use my insect repellant, Orli?" "No--it smelled like arse." "Then stop complaining. And go to sleep." A pause, a half-minute of silence, and then: "I have to piss." "Good God, Dominic, then go piss already!" A rustle and a zip as Dom wriggled out of his sleeping bag and crunched off into the woods. Silence, then a stumble and a thump and a loud whispered "Ow! Fuck!" "Jesus, Dom, you want someone to come hold it for you?" A giggle from Elijah. Two, maybe three minutes of quiet, except for the occasional bzzzz—smack from Orli. And then a zip and the soft sliding sound of Dom's sleeping bag. More rustling, and wiggling, and a loud frustrated sigh. "Dom! What the hell's wrong now?" "I can't get comfortable. Every time I turn over there's a big root sticking in my back." A burst of laughter from Sean and Elijah. "What's so damn funny?" Elijah's soft giggle. "Nothing, Dom... nothing. Here — move your bed closer to mine. It's flatter over here." A zip and a thump and a dragging sound. A happy sigh. "Oh yeah, that's much better." "Fantastic. Now shut the hell up." Silence. Crickets chirping faintly and a soft breeze stirring the treetops overhead. The far-off sound of the lake lapping against its shore. Peace. Sean breathing heavy and even in the sleeping bag next to him. At least someone's getting some sleep. Somewhere far away, a loon cried long and lonely. The trees creaked and settled around them. Billy's hands relaxed on his chest as he felt sleep finally creeping over the corners of his thoughts. Bzzzz—thwap. "Ow!" "Jesus, Orlando! Put on the damn repellant!" Billy reached over blindly and threw the tube of lotion in Orlando's general direction. A zip and a rustle and the click of the cap, then a suddenly loud wet farty squelch. Immediate high-pitched giggles from Dom and Elijah. "Jesus Christ." Billy heaved a sigh. The giggles died down and presently the silence resumed. Even Dom's fidgeting seemed to quiet. The crickets chirped and the faint sound of Orli's snoring rose and fell next to him. Billy twitched a bit, settling in for sleep. And then the whispering started. "Lij." "What?" "It's still lumpy over here." "Then scoot closer, dumbass!" Sliding, wriggling, and then, "Better?" "Mm-hm." "Good." A soft rustle as Elijah pulled his cover closer around him. "Lij." "What?" "I can't sleep out here. The air smells funny." "It's called 'fresh', Dom. If you hate camping so much, why did you come?" "I wanted you to think I was rugged and manly." Fiercely stifled giggling, loud enough to make Sean stir and turn over. Billy squeezed his eyes shut tighter. Good lord, now he was stuck with the Flirty Twins. Why didn't they just shag and get it over with? Not here and now, of course. Not with their three best friends lying a few feet away. Not right here in front of him while he listened and kept his eyes closed and imagined. Of course not. Although... if Dom kept scooting closer and Elijah kept up that giggling... Billy relaxed his face and let his mouth fall open slightly, and began to snore softly. If they weren't going to let him sleep, then at least the night wouldn't be entirely ruined. It was the least he deserved for putting up with them. "Dom." "What?" "Are you cold?" "No." A pause. "I'm cold. It's cold over here." Another pause. "This doesn't keep me warm enough." He could almost hear Dom's grin. "I thought you did your fishing at the lake?" A snort. "What? You think I'm flirting with you, you cocky bastard? I'm not fishing for anything--I just wanted you to scoot closer and block the wind off me with your ears." "Oh that does it, wanker. Next time I get up to piss I'm taking your water bottle with me." Scooting and sliding, and suddenly Elijah's whispered giggling abruptly stopped. "How's this? Warmer?" "Mm-hmm." Billy could practically hear Elijah's heart pounding and tried hard not to smile. You play with fire... "Dom." "Yes?" "Move back some. You're breathing on my neck. It's making me..." "Making you what?" "Nothing. Just quit it." Another long pause, and then, very quietly: "Dom?" "Yes, Elijah?" "Why did you really come this weekend? Really?" "You wanted me to, didn't you?" A pause. "Yes." Another audible smile. "And here I am. " A long exhaled breath from Elijah, collapsing into soft nervous giggles that mingled with Dom's contented sigh. A few moments of breathing, and then Dom's low voice. "I do have a slight problem, though." "Oh?" "Mm-hm. This bloody sleeping bag. It's making me itch. I think it must be made of, like, ragweed or something. Terribly uncomfortable." "Dom?" "Hmm?" "I thought you did your fishing at the lake?" "Touché, my lad. Touché." And then Elijah's voice dipped as well. "Well, mine is nice soft goosedown. Very comfortable." "Sounds heavenly." A long, slow, dragging zip. "And it's made for two." Billy swore he heard Dom growl between the quick zip of his bag and the smooth slide of him slipping in beside Elijah. The fabric rustled and Elijah's laughter was muted beneath the layers of material. For a moment, there was nothing but the wriggling sounds of movement and the stifled giggles. And then a half-muted murmur: "Dom." "Hmm?" "Your elbow is sticking into my back." "That's not my elbow, love." All movement stopped. "Dominic!" "What?" "Billy's sleeping, like, two feet away from us!" "Not if you keep on talking." Another wriggle and Elijah's sharp intake of breath. "Dom..." Dom's mouth sounded half full. "Yes, Elijah?" "We can't--anyone could just--Billy's right over there and I don't think we should—mmphmm..." Elijah's words were smothered and cut off and were replaced by a soft and wet smacking sound. There was one more high-pitched sigh from Elijah, and one more low growl from Dom, and then the fabric rustled and the sounds turned muffled and indistinct. Well, thought Billy. So that's how you get them to stop talking. I should have tried that an hour ago. **************** Billy cracked his eyes open as the bright sunlight came streaming in. Sean's feet were inches from his face, looming over him as Sean bent down to hand him a cup of coffee. "Sleep well?" he asked. You have no idea, Billy thought. He sat up lazily and took the cup, his gaze immediately turning to the spot where Dom's empty sleeping bag lay twisted and discarded next to the overstuffed mound of Elijah's, a solid cocoon of black nylon from which no hint of its occupants was visible except for one of Elijah's pale hands limply holding the fabric over their heads. Two sets of snores emanated from within. Sean followed his glance and smiled. "They haven't moved since I've been up." Billy grinned. "Let them sleep for a few more minutes." They need it after what I heard. He stood and saw Orlando sitting on the lid of the cooler, gingerly applying calamine lotion to his splotched forearms. He looked up at Sean and Billy and said, "Everything's packed — we're ready to go as soon as we can pry those two apart. You think they got cold or something?" "It was pretty cold last night," said Sean. Billy tried to nod casually. "I'll wake them up then." He went over to the sleeping bag and prodded it with his toe. "Lij? Dom?" The hand twitched and the corner of the bag folded down just far enough to reveal Elijah's face, and went no further. He squinted in the morning light, then caught sight of Billy and his eyes went wide. "I was cold." Billy shrugged, looking completely indifferent. "Whatever. C'mon, it's time to go." He tactfully turned his back and began helping Sean and Orli load their stuff into the car. After a few moments, Elijah slipped wordlessly past him and joined in, hair mussed and clothes irretrievably wrinkled. Dom sidled by a few minutes later with the bag rolled and tied in his hands, and a face of half-lidded grumpy sleepiness. Billy couldn't resist. "You look worn out." Dom eyed him. "I couldn't get comfortable." Oh, I think you got very comfortable. "That sucks. Here, have some coffee." He turned and made his way towards the car, feeling very pleased with his little secret. The others would never know what they had missed, and Dom and Elijah would never know just how much he hadn't missed. He took a deep breath. Yes, it was a fine morning indeed. His cupid's bow mouth curved up into a satisfied grin. Sean slammed the trunk of the car and turned to Orlando. "That's everything," he said. "I think we're ready to go." "Yeah, OK," said Orlando. Suddenly he stopped and hesitated. "Except..." "What's wrong?" said Sean in concern. Orlando looked at him pleadingly. "Well, it's just--just one thing." He clutched at his chest. "It's my jacket. It itches. I think it must be made of, like, ragweed or something. Oh Sean, what should I do?" Elijah's face had drained of color. He gaped as Sean looked at Orlando hungrily and said, "Don't worry, mine is very comfortable." He yanked his jacket open and licked his lips. "And it's made for two." "Oh Sean!" Orlando leapt on him and began laughing hysterically as Elijah pulled open the door of the car and disappeared inside as if he wanted to disappear entirely. Billy's mouth fell open, but he was laughing before he knew it and shaking his head as Dom scowled and pushed past them with a hiss of "bastards." "Oh Dom, come on!" Sean called after him as they all piled into the car. "It's not like I counted how many times the phrase 'oh god' was uttered!" "Fourteen," called Orlando from the passenger seat. "Six for Dom and eight for Lij." Billy's laughter was hysterical as he slid into the driver's seat and caught sight of Dom and Elijah fuming in the backseat. He wondered if anyone would mention Elijah's more colorful exclamations. It was going to be a most entertaining ride home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ home