Part 2: Four to Six Hours Later



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dom awoke with a start, jerking upright from where he'd been slumped against the arm of the sofa. He looked around in confusion, wiping the drool off the magazine page that had left a crinkled imprint across his cheek. Something wasn't right... the sun had set while he slept, and the room had gone dark around him. Squinting up at the clock, Dom saw the bright red numbers flashing 10:36.

"Shit!" He scrambled to his feet and fisted the sleep out of his eyes. 10:36. Billy's painkillers should've worn off about two hours ago. Dom's eyes fell on the plain white bottle on the table, and went wide with the memory of how it had gotten there. "Shit," he repeated, softly, and snatched up the bottle before heading down the hall.

Billy looked up when he came in, and gave a quiet "Oi, Dom." He sat propped against the headboard, leg cradled on two pillows, and the light of the lamp shone sharply over his pale skin. His right hand toyed with the remote, spastically flicking through the channels on the TV, his left hand balled in the sheets at his side. There was no color in his face, and Dom could see a fine sheen of sweat shining on his forehead.

"Jesus, Billy, why didn't you call me?"

Billy shrugged, and even that subtle movement made him wince.

"They weren't on the table, and I didn't want to bother you."

Dom looked at the bottle in his hand and had a desire to bludgeon himself repeatedly with it. Christ, he's shaking like a fucking leaf. What were you planning to do? Hold his pills hostage for sexual favors? Classy, Dominic. Classy. He hoped Billy couldn't see the flush rising in his cheeks.

"Sorry, Bill, I was just reading the label. I, uh, I didn't mean to fall asleep out there, you should have called. I'll go get you something to take these with, OK?"

If Billy could hear the jumpiness in Dom's voice, he gave no sign. He heaved a huge sigh, rubbing his face with both hands, and then looked up at Dom with a face of grumpy distaste. "I don't want any more pills, Dom," he said.

He remembers, thought Dom bleakly, and he's so disgusted that he'd rather sit there in fucking agony then let himself around me like that again. God, what a fucking selfish prick I am. He wondered if there was anything larger in the room he could bludgeon himself with.

Softly, he said, "Don't be daft, I'll go get you some juice."

"I said no!" cried Billy. "Don't you listen? No fucking pills! I don't like not remembering myself, I don't like sleeping all day and I don't like you hanging over me like a fucking nursemaid! If I wanted mothering I'd call my sister!"

Dom's nerves snapped. "And I'm tired of you playing the fucking Stoic Highlander when you're about to bloody keel over any second, refusing my help but bitching because you need it! If you don't want to take the fucking pills tomorrow, fine, but you're damn well going to take them tonight and get a decent night's sleep before you really piss me off and become the first person to die from a nicked leg! And if you whinge anymore about it I'm going to sit on your chest and shove them down your throat while singing 'Billy Don't Be a Hero'! Right! Now apple or orange?"

Billy closed his gaping mouth and said, "Pardon?"

"Do you want apple juice or orange juice?"

Billy looked into his lap and fiddled with the sheet. "Apple."

In the tiny kitchen of the bungalow, Dom poured a glass of apple juice and tried not to laugh. Wish I had a picture of that face. His grin faded as his mind worked over Billy's phrase of "not remembering myself". Of course he doesn't. You're being an idiot, Monaghan. He was dreaming, and so were you. Now knock it off.

Back in the bedroom, Billy took the glass out of his hand with an impotent little scowl. "Dom."

Dom held out two tiny white pills. "Yes?"

"I'm not a Highlander." Billy swallowed them with a jerk of his head and drained his glass dry.

Dom watched his adam's-apple bob in his throat and said, "I know, Billy."

He reached out for the empty glass, and his hand shook a little as he put it on the table.

"You want anything to eat? You haven't eaten all day."

Billy grimaced. "Ugh, no. Not hungry."

"Those pills will hit you hard on an empty stomach--"

Billy stopped him with a raised eyebrow. "Dom."

"Sorry."

Billy shifted on his pillows, and Dom furrowed his brow and bit his thumb. "Right. Well, I'll leave you to get some sleep, then. Good night, Bill." He turned for the door.

"Dom."

Dom turned to see Billy looking at him apologetically. "I'm not trying to be a hero. I just can't stand having to be bloody waited on, and my leg fucking hurts, and I'm about two seconds away from throwing something through that window and crying into my apple juice. Now I'd like to keep a tiny amount of my dignity tonight, so would you mind--" he hesitated. "I mean, would you stay in here... for awhile... and talk to me, you know, keep me from dwelling on it?"

Dom leaned into the doorframe, mostly because he couldn't remain upright when Billy looked up at him with pain shining in his eyes. Very quietly, he said, "Of course."

Billy exhaled, suddenly casual, and said, "Right," before turning back to the television. He flipped through a few channels before looking up at Dom to say, "Well come on then, you gonna stand in the doorway all night? Get in here and distract me."

"What do you want me to do, bloody tap dance?"

Billy grinned. "That sounds lovely. Just get out from in front of the telly, won't you?"

Dom crossed the room and sat carefully on his own bed. Billy watched him cross and uncross his knees a few times, and then said, "What the hell's wrong with you? You can't even see the TV from that bed. Get over here. Unless you're still scared of me beating your arse for that Highlander remark."

Dom crawled up onto the bed beside Billy, not meeting his eyes, leaving over a foot of careful space between them. He leaned back against the headboard and tried to sound casual. "So what's on?"

Billy, oblivious to Dom's fingers twitching on the mattress edging, began turning through the channels. Find something funny, Dom pleaded. Or a documentary or something, get him talking until he nods off...

Billy's finger stopped. "Ah, you like this movie, don't you Dom?"

Dom looked at the screen and into the opening credits of Velvet Goldmine.

Oh, shit.

"Well, I guess, I don't really--"

"Well I've never seen it. Let's watch it. If you like it, it ought to put me right to sleep."

Dom smiled thinly and leaned back, wondering if there were anything in the room he could bludgeon Billy with as well.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Billy's brow furrowing as he tried to ignore his leg and get into the story. After awhile he sighed, and reached over to turn off the lamp. The glow of the TV flickered across his ribs as he moved, and Dom began picking furiously at the threadbare hotel sheet. When Billy settled back with a thump, he asked, "So what do you like about this movie?"

Dom scrambled for an answer, something a bit more intelligent than well mostly it's the pretty boys rubbing their shiny parts together, William. "I like the music a lot, you know. And I, uh, well the cinematography is quite good, don't you think? I mean the colors are really--"

Ewan McGregor sauntered onto the stage, and Billy's face split into a wide smile. "Ah, now it becomes clear."

Dom could feel his cheeks burning, a condition he hoped was not visible by dim television light.

"Fancy him, do you?"

"Ehm... well..."

Billy watched the lights play over the stage, heard Ewan's voice swell into the microphone, saw Dom fidgeting beside him. His grin widened.

"It's the accent, isn't it?"

Dom looked over and Billy was smirking at him with great amusement, clearly enjoying Dom's discomfort, and thinking it due entirely to the discovery of his little celebrity crush. Good. Let's keep it on that one. He managed a grin back.

"Actually, it's the leather trousers, but nice try."

They turned their eyes back to the screen. "He happens to be a very good actor," Dom continued, sounding hurt. "His range is brilliant, and he has the most expressive face. Amazing talent."

At that moment, Curt Wild dropped his leather trousers and freed his amazing talent for all to see. Billy's laughter echoed in the little room.

"Bastard," smiled Dom. He giggled a bit himself, sinking down a bit into the mattress, the knot between his shoulder blades starting to loosen. Beside him, Billy's legs had stopped twitching, and his arm moved to rest idly behind his head. Dom searched his face. "Feeling better yet?"

Billy nodded, blinking. "Mmm. A little."

"You like the movie?"

"Yeah. Must be working. I'd have to be bloody high to enjoy this shite."

They watched on in silence, and Dom began to lose himself in the movie, one of his favorites, his discomfort gone as he shifted on his pillow and tried not to sing with Jon Rhys-Meyers. Billy sat still beside him as the minutes passed, body loose and relaxed, and Dom's tension relaxed with him as he laid his head back against the headboard and felt the colors and the music begin to hum through his senses the way they always did. His fingers went calm on his belly, head tilted to the side, taking in the swirl of sound and vision.

Make a wish
And see yourself, on stage inside out
A tangle of garlands in your hair

"I..." whispered Billy.

Dom looked at him, a pang of something squeezing suddenly in his chest. "What?"

Billy stared at the screen, the blues and silvers flickering in his eyes, and his voice was so soft Dom almost couldn't hear it over the tinkling piano.

"I said I can't. I wish-- I'm not like them, Dom. Not like him."

Dom's heart began to pound. "What do you mean?"

"Look at him, Dom." Billy's eyes blinked slowly, gaze fixed on the pale blue light that gleamed in the black of his pupils. "He's beautiful. I'm not beautiful, not like that. I can't -- he shines, Dom. Look at them. They shine."

The words were out before he could stop them. "You shine, Billy."

Billy turned then, and stared at Dom for a long moment. "I..." he began, and then his eyes closed and he let out a little sigh. "I think I should've eaten something."

Dom sat up, getting an arm around Billy's shoulder to steady him. "Come on, mate, let's get you lying down proper." He took the brunt of Billy's weight as let him sink down onto his back, pulling the pillows from beneath his leg and scooting down until he stretched out straight and flat with a long heavy sigh.

"Alright?"

Billy made a mumbled sound that Dom had come to identify as inherently Scottish, rubbing at his eyes before settling into the pillows. Dom smiled as he picked up the remote and moved to scoot discreetly off the bed. He froze up short when he felt a familiar set of fingers brush against his arm. Billy looked up into Dom leaning over him and blinked sleepily.

"Stay?"

Dom's lungs couldn't seem to get any air. The flickering glow of the television skipped across the planes of Billy's chest, shining in changing angles on his cheeks and his chin and his eyes. Dom leaned over him, weight on one arm, and his lips parted a little as he nodded. His free hand reached over to smooth the hair back from Billy's forehead.

"Go to sleep, Billy."

Billy's brow creased, like he was trying to remember his thought, but his eyes grew more weighted as Dom stared at him. Finally he gave up and turned his head into the pillow, murmuring something unintelligible before his eyes closed and he fell fast asleep.

Dom didn't move but lay there and looked at him, the sharp temptation of the afternoon melting into a warmer sort of ache which was somehow a thousand times worse. On the screen, Curt and Brian stood forehead to forehead, close and soft and shining. Swallowing a lump in his throat, Dom pushed the mute button on the remote but left the picture on, unwilling to cut off the pale blue that glowed across Billy's face and the slow rise and fall of his chest.

The curves of your lips rewrite history.

"You," he whispered, "are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

And then he stretched out onto his side, curling into Billy's ribs and resting his head on the pad of Billy's shoulder, and he could feel the slow rush of Billy's breath in his hair as he closed his eyes and watched the dim light shimmer through his eyelids until he fell asleep.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Part 3 -- home